Casual sex is growing in popularity among some who find traditional relationships too emotionally draining. Sex parties and hookup events are a great place to mix with larger groups of people with different fetishes and sexual preferences.
Intimacy in public can be one of the most thrilling experiences of all. However, it can also be tricky.
1. Be yourself
Casual sex might seem like the ideal option for some, especially those who have trouble in serious relationships or find them emotionally draining. It’s a great way to sample new people and have fun without the worry of long-term commitment.
Be honest with yourself, though, about what you’re looking for. Don’t try to turn a one-night stand into something more than it is or push a short-term partner into something they don’t want. The consequences can be dangerous, not to mention heartbreaking.
Unless you’ve discussed it beforehand, you shouldn’t text someone more than occasionally between your dick appointments. That doesn’t mean you can’t be flirtatious, but keep it light and avoid conversations about work, family or other personal issues. A little dirty talk about each other’s fetishes, sexual tastes and practices can be a lot of fun and help build anticipation. A sense of humour and a good appearance also goes a long way with sex partners. So working on your fitness, wardrobe and overall presentation is a must. But be sure to make it clear you’re not interested in a deep or meaningful relationship.
2. Don’t lead the hookup on
With the advent of apps like Tinder, it’s easier than ever to have casual sex. However, the anonymity that hookup culture offers often promotes bad habits like intoxication and a lack of accountability. Drunk sex isn’t fun for anyone. Plus, it can lead to bigger issues, like consent violations and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
A big indicator of someone’s intentions is how attentive they are during sex. If they show no interest in your pleasure, or are oblivious to your needs, that’s a sign that they’re only interested in having casual sex for fun. They may not be good candidates for long-term relationships, either.
How open they are about talking about sex is another important indicator. If they get defensive or refuse to talk about it, that’s a sign that they might not be good candidates for casual sex, and could also be a warning sign that they wouldn’t be open to communicating about other difficult subjects in a relationship, either.
3. Don’t get caught
When it comes to casual sex hookups, it is important not to get caught. This can be hard to do, especially if you are in a big city. Getting caught can lead to embarrassment, discomfort, and even potentially serious consequences.
If you are not careful, you can be caught doing anything from kissing to intercourse with a casual hookup. The first step is to make it clear that you are only looking for a one-time hookup. This can be done by saying so right away or by setting some rules for yourself, such as not sleeping with people you are dating.
You should also avoid doing things that are considered relationship-y, such as spending the night together or sending your hookup cute text messages. If you start catching feelings with a casual sex partner, it is okay but you need to be honest about it. It is not fair for either of you if you start hoping for something more when you are only interested in casual sex. This can lead to confusion and hurt feelings for both of you.
4. Keep your boundaries in mind
Being open and honest about what you want out of your casual sex hookup is one of the best ways to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings. While it can be awkward to be straightforward about your intentions, most people will appreciate your honesty and will be understanding if you are clear about your goals from the start.
Another important thing to keep in mind is your boundaries. It’s tempting to let your guard down and get a little flirty, but you don’t need to text that person at 2:00 a.m. asking to sleep with them because you’re drunk. This type of behavior can lead to bigger problems later on, like STIs or even a relationship that wasn’t what either of you wanted.
Likewise, you don’t need to chat with your hookup about life stresses and family dramas. If you do end up chatting, keep it light and keep it focused on things that will help build anticipation for the night’s encounter. It’s fine to discuss your sexual tastes and practices, but conversations about your day at work or the challenges of motherhood should be reserved for longer-term relationships.
5. Be prepared
Some people find serious relationships to be emotionally draining, and casual sex can be the perfect solution. However, it’s important to be prepared, both mentally and physically.
For example, it’s a good idea to be ready to talk about kinky sex requests and fantasies. This can be a bit awkward, but it’s better than being surprised by something unexpected. Also, if you decide to expand your casual hookup into a more intimate relationship, it’s wise to be prepared for that as well. Be sure to discuss things like where you want to meet, how often you want to hook up, and any other kinky needs or wants you may have.
It’s also a good idea to avoid activities that can be misconstrued as dates, such as dinner or a trip to the theatre. This will help to keep the relationship as casual as possible and prevent you from accidentally blurring the lines. And, of course, you should always get tested for STIs before and after every casual hookup. This way, you can be sure that you’re safe from Covid-19 and other sexually transmitted infections.