Before the threesome starts, it’s important for everyone involved to discuss their safer sex rules. This includes talking about penetration and how they feel about hickies and love bites.
Some couples use threesome sex as a tool to fix their flailing relationships. It’s usually not successful and can cause more harm than good.
1. Don’t let jealousy get in the way
Jealousy is an emotion that can wreak havoc in any threesome. Whether it’s from the other two participants or your own partner, jealousy can lead to bad behavior and disrespect. This is why it’s important to talk about your boundaries before you ever engage in a threesome.
When deciding who you want to have a threesome with, make sure that everyone involved is on board. If you can’t have a conversation with the other people about what they want and need, you should move on. It’s better to find someone else who is compatible and wants the same thing than to end up with regrets.
During the threesome, don’t forget to focus on your partner. It’s important that they feel special and that you are giving them your full attention. Otherwise, they may feel left out or neglected. This could throw off the whole dynamic of the threesome, which is why it’s crucial to have a discussion about it beforehand.
Be clear about the sex acts that are off limits, including things like penetrative sex and BDSM. It’s also a good idea to have a safe word that will let you know when you need to stop. For example, you could say “flower” or “chocolate” and that will give both of you a signal that the time is up.
2. Don’t get too friendly with the third person
A threesome can be a thrilling experience for everyone involved. It’s something that not many people do, so it can feel unique and exciting to both partners. It can also add sexual variety to a monogamous relationship, and it can be a way for couples to bond with each other while still having fun with someone else.
But it’s important to remember that threesomes are a completely different thing from a regular date or hookup. If you’re going to have a threesome, it’s best to talk about the expectations for the situation before you all get laid. “Know what you want to get out of it before you’re all in the bedroom—whether it’s a Thursday night routine or a one-time affair between friends,” certified sex therapist Janet Brito explains.
If you’re the person in a committed relationship who invites a guest star to join you, try to avoid getting too friendly with them after the sex is over. It might seem like a good idea to cuddle up or spend more time talking to the third person, but it will just make your partner feel ignored. And if you’re the guy who invited the girl to bed, it’s best to only penetrate your partner—not the guest star.
This will prevent any lingering feelings of insecurity and ensure that you’re not having an extramarital affair with the third person (even if it’s just for fun). Just be sure to discuss your personal boundaries before you ever have a threesome, and always communicate clearly with each other to make sure everyone understands what’s expected of them.
3. Don’t prolong the sex
Bringing a third person into the bedroom can be an intimate experience for some couples, and a recreational one for others. Whatever the reason is for a threesome, it’s important to keep the intimacy and recreational aspects separate. To do this, it helps to have a code word or phrase that both partners can use to stop the interaction if they feel uncomfortable. It could be something simple, such as ‘flower’ or ‘chocolate’.
Also, if you’re in a relationship, try not to get too friendly with the third person after the session is over. This can lead to feelings of jealousy, and it’s important to maintain a healthy romantic relationship.
Lastly, if you’re in a couple and have brought a third into the bedroom, try to make time after the threesome to reconnect solely with your partner. This can be a good way to reaffirm the partnership and show how much you care for each other.
Overall, a threesome can be an intensely pleasurable experience for both parties. But if you’re not careful, it can also be dangerous. Especially in relationships, there’s a lot of potential for negative feelings to arise, such as jealousy, power imbalance, and asymmetrical chemistry. If these issues aren’t addressed with open communication and respect for each other’s boundaries, a threesome can cause serious damage.
4. Don’t forget about your partner
A wild threesome can be fun, but it’s also important to remember that you have a partner and your relationship is a priority. If one of the two partners starts to feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable, they should speak up and ask for the session to end. This can be as simple as a clear, direct request, or as complex as a code word to indicate that they want the session to stop.
It’s also important to be clear with your partner about the kinds of sex acts that you’re both comfortable with, whether they are BDSM or more standard acts like oral and penetrative sex. If you don’t set clear boundaries ahead of time, it’s easy to overstep them in the heat of the moment.
Also, make sure that you and your partner agree on where you will have your threesome and how often it will be. For example, some couples are more accustomed to having a threesome with friends rather than strangers, and it’s a good idea to discuss this before the encounter. It’s equally important to know how to end the interaction on a clean, happy note and reaffirm your commitment to one another. This may mean cuddling, going on a romantic date or doing something else special. It’s best to only use apps for finding people to have a threesome with when your relationship is stable and based on mutual trust and respect.